Gifted and Highly Sensitive? Make the Most of These Underrated Identities
By: Lori L. Cangilla, LP, Ph.D.
The Venn diagram of gifted adults and highly sensitive people (HSPs) isn’t quite a single circle, but there is considerable overlap. Giftedness in adults is characterized by advanced aptitude and achievement in one or more areas, accompanied by an intense drive for mastery, making sense of the world, and translating one’s inner experiences into an impact on the world around them.
High sensitivity is the colloquial phrase for the temperamental traits first referred to by Dr. Elaine Aron as sensory processing sensitivity (SPS). It is defined by the acronym DOES: depth of processing, overstimulation, empathy/emotional reactivity, and sensitivity to subtleties. Research shows that 20-30% of people are highly sensitive. SPS is found in similar rates in many animal species, suggesting that the “wait and watch” style of highly sensitive individuals has been evolutionarily preserved.
As a psychologist specializing in gifted adults and HSPs, I regularly get to work with people who have both identities. They are bright, creative, exquisitely perceptive, profoundly introspective, and driven to see the world transformed to reflect their high ideals. These same people, however, may find themselves feeling cognitively paralyzed by competing values (think Chidi from The Good Place), wounded by and pessimistic about humanity, and choosing self-alienation to avoid the pain of how their differences exist in the world.
In my own life as a gifted HSP, I’ve experienced the highs and lows that these qualities can bring. What I’ve learned personally and from working with my clients is that there are many ways to make the most of these identities, even when society finds you difficult, off-putting, “too much” or not enough. I’d like to share four of these with you and invite you to see what resonates, try out some different behaviors, and see what works for you (and if you enjoy and benefit from this process, you’ll find it at the heart of my Singularly Sensitive approach).
Complex Integrators and Innovators
Intricate thought processes, elegant integration of diverse pieces of data, and innovative conclusions: these qualities are common to gifted and highly sensitive individuals. When gifted HSPs are permitted to harness these strengths, the results include creative, metaphorical use of language, new organizing schematics for conceptual information, and inventive physical items. Not bad for those daydreams and “excitabilities” that often get deemed problematic.
To harness these powers, we can seek out places where our complexity and creativity are welcomed. You might look for it in the workplace, but not everyone will find their complexity valued and utilized there. Instead, broaden your horizons. Seek out online communities or in-person meetups for people who share your interests. Start your own niche interest group (a writing circle, a strategy game club, or a political conversation circle) and invite others into your world.
Don’t allow societal messages to “keep it simple” to deter you. Set aside solo time to reflect, study, read, and invest in your complexity. Expose yourself to new subjects, which may spark creativity and new mental connections. You deserve to engage in activities that please you, not vegging out because you’ve internalized that as the right way to spend your time.
Super Sensers
Gifted and highly sensitive people are super sensers. We possess heightened sensory receptiveness and increased awareness of sensory subtleties. We easily and automatically notice patterns, slight changes in stimuli, and understated changes in our internal sensations, fueled by brains that are highly active even at rest.
This ability to notice everything, internally and externally, can become overwhelming and lead to indecision or a sense of helpless avoidance. We definitely need to be giving ourselves breaks, reducing sensory stimulation so that our nervous systems can rest.
We can make the most of being super sensers by directing this ability toward areas of our lives where it can be an asset for us and where its potential liabilities can be contained. For some people, this may mean having a hobby or passion project where being a super senser is desirable, like the arts, cooking, interior design, or collecting. For me, photography is an outlet where I can channel my preoccupation with color and light into a socially sanctioned activity. If I wait a few hours to capture the exact look of a landscape that I envisioned before going outside, it feels like an accomplishment that I can share with others. That sense of satisfaction may help me let go of my focus on the vaguely unpleasant way that I cannot control lighting and color in other areas of my life.
Deep Connectors
The same neural paths that set us up to connect deeply to information and sensory stimuli prime gifted and highly sensitive people to seek out meaningful connections to other people and, in many cases, to animals and the natural world. We may shun small talk and casual encounters, but crave emotionally intimate, intellectually stimulating relationships. We long to feel heard, seen, understood. And we passionately desire to have a positive impact on the people and nature we treasure.
These kinds of connections require time, energy, and consistent engagement over time. The biggest piece of advice I give to gifted HSPs who want to work on their relationships is to start with the relationship you have with yourself. This falls under the rubric of self-care, but I’m not suggesting you just get a massage or take a vacation (although both of those may be part of a healthy plan for yourself).
How do you treat yourself? Reflect on whether you are meeting your own needs, from the basics, like sleeping and hydrating adequately, to more complex needs, like talking to yourself in respectful and self-compassionate ways, prioritizing your needs and desires, and aligning your choices with your values.
You need to start with caring well for yourself for several reasons. Firstly, if you don’t meet your needs, you are going to be too overstimulated, exhausted, and preoccupied to engage well with people or animals. If you reach out at all, it will be to look for support, not to have a reciprocal relationship. Furthermore, caring for yourself helps you replenish from the energetic and emotional demands of interacting with people and animals, so that you come to find socializing to be less draining and more sustainable.
Finally, taking care of yourself is a powerful sign of self-respect and an attractive signal to others that you are healthy, self-sufficient person with whom they can forge a relationship. You will be appealing to the kind of bright, curious, interesting people you desire to have in your life.
World Makers
My favorite quality about gifted HSPs is that they are world makers. No matter where they direct their attention, they make a difference. They have the ability to create environments that foster growth in themselves and those around them. They are driven to build a world that reflects their values, willing to rebel against authority that doesn’t reflect those values, and prepared to stand up for what they believe in and stand out based on their choices. And often, they manage to do it in a way that is not just provocative, but also seeks to understand others’ perspectives and invites people into their worlds, rather than pushing for conformity.
If you are looking to explore your existential questions, tackle world issues, save the environment, or advocate for the powerless, just do it! The world desperately needs the values and qualities that gifted HSPs bring to the table. You have the power to reshape the world to be a better place for everyone. Start small and local but start now. The words are trite, but the impact can be profound: Be the change you want to see in the world. There are few people better positioned to lead this transformation.
Celebrating Gifted HSPs
Each and every day, I celebrate what it means to be gifted and highly sensitive. I’m grateful for people who go deep, feel passionately, speak up, and stand out from the crowd. I hope you’ll do the same!
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Lori Cangilla, LP, PhD is a Licensed Psychologist and Coach at her practice Singularly Sensitive in Pittsburgh, PA as well as a founding member of the Superwell Collective.
